As shared on TheCatholicBest
I buried my father on June 4th, 2024. I wrote this reflection in honor of my father, Richard Stephen King.
Today I bury my father.
As I reflect on the eulogy and obituary for my dad; they were each well written and heartfelt. My mother and siblings chose to reflect on the quiet, spiritual leadership of my father over our family. He led by example, attending daily mass followed by a daily Rosary. He entreated us—his children—to do the same. He was deeply devoted to St Joseph, especially in his role as the Foster Father to Jesus.
Richard died a holy, peaceful death. He was surrounded by his family as they prayed Rosary after Rosary along with numerous divine mercy chaplets. His wife stood by his bedside courageously invoking Saint Benedict to keep the evil one away at the final moments before death. The priest said last rites and administered the Apostolic blessing. In the moments after death, the prayers for the dead were said. We should all pray for such a holy and beautiful end to our time on this earth.
The obituary didn’t mention my father’s worldly accomplishments, and they were many. He was an intelligent, well-educated man. He was an engineer, loved math and logic, and was fluent in several languages. He had several adventures that would have made for entertaining memories—but the focus wasn’t on such things. Rather, it was with his spiritual and familial accomplishments.
In the eyes of the world, he lived an unconventional life. He and his wife of 49 years had eleven children in twenty-two years. Each child was welcomed with joy and delight. Their primary focus was raising Catholic children. They also fostered seven nieces and nephews after a sister-in-law unexpectedly passed away. Richard and Mia had a spirit of hospitality that knew no bounds.
As I reflect on the memories of my father, the obituary’s focus on his life as the priest of his family, the spiritual leader to those around him, the love he showed to his fellow man, those are the things that matter. We live in a world where the platitudes “be kind” and “be a good person” are often given lip service—but how many people actually walk the walk of being a kind person, a good person?
I stand at the grave of my father, and I am convicted.
I am a father of seven, have I led my family as well as my father led his? He gave us the blueprint on how to live as a man of faith, serving God and serving his family. He sacrificed himself for his family. He surrendered to his terminal health diagnosis with humility, fighting as long as God allowed him to. He died well, no fear, no anxiety, no regrets. He made amends with those whom he needed to. He fought the fight, finished the race. Being a good dad who led by example, he showed us how to do it. He embraced Catholic fatherhood in all aspects.
I stand on the shoulders of a spiritual giants. May I have the courage to live an authentically Catholic life as the spiritual priest of my family. May my example of living as a Christ-like life inspire my five sons to likewise become courageous Catholic men—may they in turn inspire the people they come in contact with.
In this day’s world, one with men like Al Bundy and Homer Simpson; one where the selfish man and bumbling father are thought to be the status quo, Catholic men are called to more. These other incomplete notions of masculinity cannot be entertained but discarded in favor of something lasting—something brave, competent, and selfless. Catholic men must take up a masculinity which challenges them and, in doing so, draws them beyond themselves, even to the point of self-sacrifice. This man we need is one who serves his family, honors his wife, loves his children. This is exactly what my father did throughout his 74 years.
Let us focus on what is important—not the job or the promotions. But rather, how did he live? The obituary was perfect, it mentioned the accomplishments that mattered. It is not in material success by which we measure a man, but in how he serves those with whom he is entrusted. It is in how close he approaches living like Christ. May we all live with the integrity and conviction of Catholic masculinity that my father did. May we all die as he did, surrounded by loved ones, encircled in prayers and well-prepared to meet his maker.
